Sunday, 19 June 2011

Poems - 1992/1993/1994

I won't do this normally, I'll only publish one; but these are my first few poems and I'm not that keen on them anymore... so thought I would put them altogether and get them over and done with, so I can start sharing the better poems from next week ;-)! Cheating, I know! 

Please note that these were all written in the early 1990's, and I was just 16-18 years old; AND they were my very first ever attempts!

This is the first ever poem I wrote in 1992, basically our family had moved when I was 16 and one night I had been very upset; and had been reading back over my journals I had written when we had first moved. I found a couple of lines I liked and pulled them out, and realised it sounded almost poetic... so carried on writing and came up with this!

MOVING:

I miss home so much.

There’s a part of me not here,
It’s still at home.
It’s screaming at me,
It’s telling me to come back,
I want to, but I can’t.
It just keeps screaming uselessly.
I can’t cry, my eyes are dry,
I can’t answer that voice,
It’s tearing me up inside.
I want to see somebody,
Somebody that I know.
I hate this sea of unfamiliar faces,
Whichever way I turn.



© 14 November 1992

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 Here are a couple more poems I wrote the following year... again they just started off as a line I liked, and it grew from there. They never got titles, especially the first one - as I never could find a title I liked!


Two Un-Named Poems 

Mum liked this one so much she actually published it in the church newsletter at the time, but...!

Drowning in a sea of confusion

And lost in a world of indifference
Just wishing there was a simple solution
To calm this burdon of doubt

Riding high on the waves of feeling
Down to the valley of despair
Did you know that there is healing
In a God of hope and victory?



© 3rd February 1993

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This next one was written back in 1992, can't remember who I wrote it for then - but as you can see I went back later on and rededicated it to my Grandparents (although neither actually passed away until 1997)

Dedicated to my Grandparents

Poppa on the 16/02/93

Nana on the 26/03/95

There’s tears running down my face
All my thoughts are centred on you
A silent stab of pain in my heart
No-one can understand what I’m going thru’

________, you’re going to be missed
So much by your close family
And there’s so many things I could wish
But I pray, “Only the Lords will be done.”


© 16th February 1993

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This was written when I was contemplating leaving school during my 7th form year, and actually working for a living...

Bend in the Road of Life

I am looking down a straight road
But just before the end
There is a corner
Way out in the distance
I can’t see around it
But with every step I take
It comes that much closer.


This road represents my life
It has been straight and easy
Most of the time
There have been little bends
But I could see around
This big bend is kind of scary
It’s not always easy
Letting go and letting God.


© 4th December 1993

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The next two were written as I contemplated growing up and leaving home, I didn't actually leave home until March/April 1994 though... so not quite sure why this first one was written so early on!

Leaving Home 1

Dedicated to Mum and Dad - 03/12/93





I am leaving you
But not for good
I will be back before you know it
I will be different, you will too
Everyone changes
Some for good, some not so good
It’s a scary feeling - growing up
Something that everyone goes through
It’s difficult, and not a subject to be taken lightly
Everyone reacts uniquely
That is why I am writing this
It’s helping me to come to terms
With what has to eventuate
I love you, I always will
Never forget that, never forget me.


© 3rd December 1993
_______________

This one was written after I had left home though!

Leaving Home 2 




Dedicated to Mum, Dad and Andrew - 09/04/94

Well here I am once more
Thinking about you
You’re in heart and mind
In everything I do.
Everywhere I seem to look
There are reminders all around
Will this hurting ever stop
And the silent sob never sound?

Mum it hurts me the worst
Sometimes I can’t even think
Why did I have to be first
From this house of love and affection?
I often have a little cry
When no-one else is around
I don’t really like this independence thing
That I am supposed to have found.

Everytime I hear your voice
Dad I have this craving for home
I sit here wondering what you’re doing
It hurts the most when I’m alone.
Did you ever feel like this
When you waved “See ya” for good?
It’s like a heavy stone inside
That is bigger than it should.

Even though we argued a lot
Little brother I think of you
I sit here laughing at days gone by
Of the things you got us into!
We never seemed to be short of fun
Unless we were separated
But that came with a lot of frequence
As our “games” weren’t often appreciated!



© 9th April 1994


I promise you they get better...

Elizabeth

1 comment :

MaxineD said...

First of the unnamed could be God of Hope??
I like re-reading these.
Blessings
M