Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Pondering...

"...It’s helpful to look at what nourishes us spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and physically. And then to ask ourselves whether these activities are done regularly or just when we’re on empty.

Warning signs for lack of self-care are:
·        Lack of interest in things that previously you enjoyed.
·        Scrambled thinking
·        Broken sleep
·        Weepiness
·        Increased physical ailments
·        Lack of interest in intimate relationships

Setting life boundaries ensure that you can say no when you need to and have space to reflect, laugh, enjoy life and rest when you need to. Boundaries are about learning to take care of ourselves no matter what happens, where we go or who we’re with. They are not about controlling others, but about creating space and emotional safety for ourselves.
What boundaries do you have in place?

How are you going with them?

What do you need to put in place as we lead up to Christmas and the busy season?"
Taken from the 'Ask Chris' e-newsletter... you can find her website here!

Thought this was worth sharing with the Christmas season on it's way... I am pondering!
I'm not sure if I have boundaries, although have certainly learnt to say no since Button was born - so maybe I do! But they're not necessarily the ones for keeping me safe; rather keeping her safe. Is this the same? I don't know... hmmmm!
We have chosen not to go out much with her, especially not at night - she just doesn't cope yet. We'll go out more when she is older, and while some folk might not agree with us - we feel and believe that this is the best decision for her and our family. It is only a short time that they are little, so the 'sacrifice' is not for long...
We also don't go out much ourselves - there aren't many folk we leave her with, not for lack of safe folk in her life; rather lack of safe people that she knows well enough for us to leave her with! Long sentence - does that even make sense?
I also think there are other reasons why I am struggling to 'let her go' (as such)... I have learnt the hard way that 'safe' people can still hurt; this makes me even more protective. I don't want my daughter going through what I have had to face and deal with, it is something I don't think I could ever forgive myself for.
Anyway - this was meant to be about boundaries heading into Christmas... ah well, never mind! This is what you get when you're tired and start thinking too deeply ;-)!!!!
Good night,

4 comments :

Cat said...

**hugs**
I remember the first time I left Tsunami I was beside myself with worry - but I was able to leave Philosopher sooner - go figure -
Do try and have some time just you and your hubby before #2 comes along . . .
Date night is very important xxx

MaxineD said...

I note that the article is not just about boundaries, but also about nourishment - are you looking after yourself (and Button) or just focusing on self-protection/preservation?
Love you
Blessings
M

jacksta said...

with ya on the child protection note. There are very few people I trust my kids with. Im super vigilant about letting the kids go to places with adults or even teenagers that I dont know. You can't be too careful.

Amy said...

Hey Elizabeth,
Lots to ponder in this post. I've been thinking a bit about personal boundaries lately, making sure that I don't end up filling all my spare time with other stuff next year and end up just as run down at the end of the year as I am now - but so, so hard to actually do it!
And no, having boundaries for Button, while excellent, is not the same as looking after yourself. Remember: Happy Mummy helps to make a happy baby and a happy home. Says she who is exhausted, grumpy, and coughing! ;op
Love Amy