Friday, 17 August 2012

Last EVER Day of Playcentre For Us...

As parents we sometimes have to make really difficult decisions... this has probably (so far), been one of the hardest I have had to make. It will seem easy and obvious to some of you, and some of you will think I am mad and am making it a bigger deal than what it is (which I probably am to be honest); but we had our last day at Playcentre today :-(.

It has been something that has been weighing on my mind for a little while now, but I keep putting off making a final call... however on Wednesday I did the deed, and sent out a goodbye e-mail, and we attended our last session today. Maybe in the future there will come a time when it will be appropriate to join up again, but right now - where we are at, it just isn't working for us anymore.

Button was just starting to slowly settle in before 'lil M was born, I expected his birth would cause disruption and was prepared... but four months down the track, and she has still not settled back to where she was (and even that was a 'barely settling'). We have been there over a year now and she barely leaves my side, she whinges and there are melt-downs E.V.E.R.Y single session; which drives me mad. 'lil M is now getting older, more alert and interested and less inclined to sleep - all this means I am having to spend more time with him at session, and I think this does not help; she still wants/needs me all to herself.

But boy, did she makes the most of it today - 3 paintings and 2 collages to bring home!

But there are other things also - she doesn't cope with big groups, she is a routine kinda gal and needs to know what is going to happen and when, and she doesn't appear to cope with change very well. All of this means that she seems to find Playcentre a little overwhelming at the moment. As she gets older she'll cope better with these kinds of environments, but I think all the activities and choices, as well as people are all just a bit much for my two year old.

So we are going to try a few other things... and if they don't work, then we'll take a break and just spend summer at home (of course there are always friends and family to visit or come visiting us). I need to remember that she is only little still, and this is ok - I have not scarred her for life by attempting Playcentre, and I have not scarred her for life by taking her out either.

* She WILL learn how to socialise with other children.

* She WILL learn how to greet people, and the social 'niceties' required to get places in life.

* She already has a great imagination and can continue to use this at home.

* She doesn't need to have art / craft things available 24/7 on demand in order to develop these skills.

* She can make friends at other places, not just Playcentre!

* Being at home with Mummy IS enough for her right now... she is still only little!

Breathe Elizabeth, breathe... you HAVE made the right decision for her at this time in her life!!!!!!!!

There are other factors as well - there always is, but the above reasons are my main points for choosing to take this break! Of course today she seemed to LOVE it, it was a very small session and she appeared to be in her element... but I can't second-guess every little thing I decide, so this is how it is, and how it will stay.


5 comments :

Ange (Tall, Short and Tiny) said...

She WILL be fine :) These toddlers of ours are still so little, and you're so right, they will get to these points when they are ready - and there's no point forcing the issue if it's just going to upset you both. She'll probably surprise you and be really ready in a few months time...or not, and that's okay too :)
I'm going to Playcentre for the first time next week, with a friend, who said there's only ever a max of 8 kids at her one which sounds perfect for my Tiny, as he, too, doesn't cope well in crowds of kids. He'll happily strike up a conversation with a strange adult, but a strange kid...not so easily!
xx

Sarah said...

Don't be so harsh on yourself. Good decision! Playcentre isn't for everyone, I tried it with a 2yo and a 3 month old and couldn't make it work either. I know others that have made it work with great support from other playcentre mums but I also know that many of them ended up feeling burnt because of it. So that made me feel not so bad! I think often we expect too much of ourselves and of our kids too early. I think 2 is very early for many organised activities, some kids cope, some don't. Really playcentre is just like daycare - only with mum there. Yes of course its better that mum is there, but I still think the environment is overwhelming for a young one. And then there is the simple fact that working in sleeps for a baby just makes it even harder. So all that to say. Good on you for making the right decision for you now. If it is stressing you out going then no one is really going to benefit overall

MaxineD said...

Yes you are right, she is still little, and you are no exactly reclusive so she will be fine, and will grow in social confidence as she grows up.
Blessings and Love,
M

Miriam said...

Good on you for being brave and making what you believe is the best choice for her in this season - that is the true victory in this instance (in my opinion obviously!). We've been really staunch about not forcing separation (at church, kindy, friends) on our boys and now they are both confident, happy little men - in her time she'll be just the same!

Amy said...

Hard decision, but you are right, it will be okay. I think there are hardly any decisions in real life that are easy and uncomplicated. We had to make the same decision but for different reasons at the beginning of the year (time constraints being our major issue). Instead we visit friends. Munchy loves that! Maybe you can find a nice small Mainly Music Group, or invite some friends to come over once a fortnight (we have a few we see each week or fortnight and it is so cool having Munchkin starting to say their names and anticipate seeing them, boss them around, play chase, or share toys...sometimes, grin!!).