Thursday, 4 October 2012

Trying SO Hard!

Be warned - this is an honesty post; don't read it if you think we have the perfect marriage *grin*!!!!!

I am trying SO hard to get organised on the home-front...

Hubby had a 'wee chat' to me the other day about the lack of housework getting done, and asked me to 'pull my socks up' a bit (or words to that effect)! I know I have a tendancy towards laziness (who doesn't *grin*), and it had been playing on my mind a bit lately also. So we sorted out an 'extra' list of things he'd like to see done each week, and he claimed it would only take an extra 20 minutes a day to get all these things completed (yes I know - I wanted to throw something at him also)!

So the next day I dutifully thought through all the extra things that would need doing THIS week (as some things had been done over the weekend and wouldn't require doing again until next week), and wrote them all down in my dairy as to when I thought I could fit them in... it really doesn't look like much at all.

BUT - now I am trying to keep up with it all... it's just about doing my head in. An extra 20 minutes a day does not cover what I am attempting to accomplish - 20 minutes would be in a 'perfect world' without two little bodies clambering all over me, begging for food, attention, a change of nappy, or just a smile sometimes. After actually taking note of what I do manage to do ALL day, there is very little time for anything else really! I was feeling decidedly lazy, but now I realise that I am basically on my feet from the time I get up until the kids go to bed at night (unless, by some sheer cleverness(?) on my part - I do manage to get them both down to bed at the same time; like today, AND I make myself sit down and stop)! I might not get a lot physically accomplished, but I often don't get a morning tea break (meaning nothing to eat, and sometimes not even a hot drink - let alone time to sit down and enjoy it), and never an afternoon tea break EVER - as by that time of day the kids are generally both up, and I am trying to sort out dinner for us all.

But hubby seems to think that every other woman gets all the housework done, looks after the kids, has dinner ready ON TIME every night, and still manages to find time for sex! Hahaha! I tried to explain to him that it may LOOK like this on the surface, but he doesn't actually live with them 24/7... it went straight over his head, he is completely convinced I am the only lazy 'housewife' there is. Yep - it still stings a bit, in case you can't tell! I initially thought he had a valid point; but I have changed my mind; but there has been no attempt to try and explain this to him as he just won't listen - once he has a 'bee in his bonnet' he just won't let go. He has never spent a whole day alone with one of them, let alone two... he did look after Button once from 8am to 4:30pm - but my normal day starts at 7am and goes through to 5pm, five days a week!

Okay - this is getting a bit personal, and more like a attack / justification than a post... so I will simmer down a bit, and talk about a few other ways I am trying to get organised for this summer and beyond! Because the reality is - I do tend towards laziness, he did have a valid point in part... and I have been already trying to work on this even before we had this 'chat', and he knew that; so I suspect he was just making sure this was an area I would start working on as well (I have just taken it rather personally, as I do tend to do)!

So my cooking sux - seriously, cooking / baking... anything to do with the kitchen really. I have been trying really hard for the past couple of months to have dinner on the table or at least well on the way by the time hubby gets home from work; and I have done fine MOST of the time; the problem is they get the same old, same old over and over again! It's dull, it's boring, it's tasteless and it's uninspiring - even for me to cook! So I have decided to take control of this area, and am starting to spruce things up a bit there (tonight I am trying a meatloaf that Ange shared with us; it sounds yummy and fairly simple to make). I am also working on my baking and of course, that dreaded 'h' word... housework - in case you didn't work that out, shhhhh!

I still have a few cupboards and bits to rearrange and spring clean (did a whole heap of stuff before 'lil M arrived, but haven't had the time or energy to complete the job since). I am waiting on a couple of shelves for our bedroom to finish tidying this up, and have 'places' for everything; might need to do a little gentle prodding of the landlord - he is great, and did two shelving jobs for me a couple of months ago; but I suspect he has forgotten about this one! I have also written up a basic (albeit huge) master shopping list - just need to transfer that to the computer, and then I want to start menu-planning (again - complete failure at this in the past)! I really want to start taking control of our budget, it went out the window once baby was born, as did a LOT of things due to sheer negligence; but it's time to take control back once more!

I really am on a roll - baby has been sleeping through almost 100% for a month now, so I am feeling a lot less tired and a lot more inspired! Despite the weather this week, I know that summer is on it's way, and it just 'feels right' to try and get things back under control before summer holidays hit us!

So - there you have it... what are you trying to rearrange / sort / declutter / organsie before summer comes?


6 comments :

Tash said...

Sorry but i had to laugh outload at this, Jordan is 22 next week & i still havent accomplished the 'perfect wife' image yet :) I think its a myth.... the way i got Trev to realize how much i do & how mentally draining it is, is that i go away alone for a week a year & he does Dad duty!!! Hes been great for the last 7 years xxx

Lisa Long said...

I can assure you that it is totally normal to not keep up with everything when you have kids! I always feel like I am running around in circles and never getting anything done ;) Maybe you could leave hubby home with both kids for the day and see how much housework etc he gets done ;) My hubby used to be like that and I can't remember when or how it happened but he realized just how busy I am with the kids and everything, I am sure by the time he gets home at night it looks like I have done nothing all day *sigh* But they do grow up sooo fast and one day I will have a nice clean home all the time but my babies will be all grown up, so for now i just do what I can :) You are doing a great job!!

MaxineD said...

Hang in there - we will go through some of my basic recipes when you are down and see what we can do :-).
I kept to the basics of h'wk for ages, as long we were fed and clean and the cobwebs did not swipe us, it was o.k... we did have a few science projects going in that respect :-).
love and blessings
M

Widge said...

I'm with you on the cooking/baking thing, I often find it a total drag...especially if you finally have the kitchen clean and then the thought of messing it all up again drives me crazy!
so yeah
I feel a bit convicted reading this because in our house it is usually ME doing the comparing of my Man to other Husbands, and he really hates it, and he did also say to me the other night after one of these "discussions" that these "ideal" family men I may compare him to also might have a really crappy life..haha

I still stuggle with the housework, but find getting the basics done really does help to feel better. As long as the kitchen bench is always wiped down, washing hung out to dry and the floor is vaccumed it makes a huge difference. Things like beds being made,a sparkling clean bath tub or washing folded isn't such a priority to me. I do the extra jobs usually in really random bursts of energy.
Sex?
yeah
lol
I listened to some great radio programmes from focus on the family a few years ago. when the kids a little it really helps to plan it. I know doesn't sound very romantic, but neither is putting out when you finally collaspe into bed dog tired.
It also helps to let hubs know some of the best foreplay can be him doing the dishes, cooking dinner! of taking the kids for awhile..
once mine refolded all the linen cupboard while i spent the day shopping ;) ;)
anyway I'm certainly no expert in these areas, just thought I'd let you know you are not alone and that there are some great resources out there :)

Sammy said...

There's no such thing as a perfect wife. And if we find her let's all band together and hunt her down!
I am a freak of nature and can't bear a messy untidy house. So I drive my poor husband insane making us both clean it. I am often working at night so when it gets too much (i.e. I am am losing the plot) he hauls out the vacuum cleaner and has a go. Poor man.
We are all so different and I think you know I think you are fabulous!

Amy said...

Munchkin is already getting roped into housework round here! He helps wash the handbasin - it is messy, very slow and I wonder why I do it, but sometimes that is actually easier than spending five mins by myself doing it - he plays with the water, the sponge, his cars, etc and I usually manage to clean the loo and the shower floor...so the handbasin doesn't really look all that clean and to be honest neither do the others but never mind). You are doing well, life is a juggle and keeping up at this stage is hard. I think it is great you have some things you want to work on, but also realise that perfection does not exist. I'm with Sammy on that one!