Thursday, 28 November 2013

Weekends...

How do you handle weekends?

I had an interesting discussion with someone the other day, she made the comment that she feels like she gets the 'Monday Morning Blues' on Saturday... it kinda blew my mind, she doesn't really 'like' weekends. Huh? What's not to like?

But as we continued on with the conversation, it started to make sense - and I could see where she was coming from, and can quite often feel the same way; I have just never got to the point of getting 'the blues' associated with it all!

Like me, she has two young children and a busy husband... and in our society we have always seen weekends as 'our time', time to do things for us. But once you have children, that all changes; and in turn this changes the dynamics of the weekend. I totally get that, I often come away from a weekend and wonder what on earth I've accomplished, because I really did nothing on my list of "to-do's", and that can get discouraging.

We used to take a Saturday afternoon off every other weekend, an afternoon consisted of four hours for us (1pm-5pm), in which we could do whatever we chose - whether that meant staying home holed up in the bedroom taping away at our respective computers, or it meant going to see a friend, having a coffee or out shopping; the choice was up to us! 

But it just wasn't working for me - this meant that every other week I would be on 'parent duty' alone six days a week; as on Saturday mornings hubby was out with Button at gymnastics or swimming. It also meant we were getting very limited family time, as Sunday was then spent trying to cram in all the chores and things we had planned on doing through-out the entire weekend; often times meaning the children missed out on us. It also seriously limited our socialising, as most of the time you invite friends over on a Saturday afternoon / evening; and doing this now meant someone would miss out on their 'me-time', and that was unfair. 

So while I loved the 'me-time', I was becoming more and more frustrated with the realities of how it worked... In order to gain something, something else always has to go, or be compromised. It had started to feel like too much was being compromised for me... So after a rather, ahem - shall we say heated discussion, one Saturday (over the phone no less), it was decided we needed to repriortise and try something new.

We have not yet come up with a new system that works - we have tried giving each other two hours each on a Saturday afternoon; so thus just splitting the above time up between us... but the same issues continued! It doesn't really solve anything.

We are currently at an impasse, we have not yet come up with a working solution that allows us some 'me-time', but also includes 'family-time' and general 'weekend-duty time'. Currently we are just taking it a weekend at a time, and if one of us NEEDS extra time, we'll make it work - otherwise we just do what we do, when we do it! That meant last weekend we got to go to the Botany Christmas Parade and see our niece dance on the Saturday, and on Sunday we took the kids down to the beach for a little while in the morning... but no housework got done, no baking got done and no me-time was had by either of us!

I love having hubby around, but I have noticed that the weekends I struggle the most - are generally weekends where my expectations have not been met. I need to learn to voice them more; hubby is spontaneous and I am a planner, and while I am coping better with him and his sudden changes in my plans, I still find myself getting wound up on a Sunday afternoon if I haven't had the time to fit in a few things I wanted... I am not necessarily talking 'me-time' stuff either, but also things like baking for the coming week etc, I find it a lot easier to get some baking done when someone else is there to supervise the kids! However quite often by the time I am free to get into the kitchen, it is time to start prepping for dinner - urghhh! One thing I can start changing and implementing now is menu planning for the weekends, I quite often have a few idea's to fill in the week; but come the weekends I am stumped and tired, and more often than not it is quick-fix meals placed down in front of the family - I don't like this, and there is a quick fix to this dilemma; I just need to organise myself a little more!

So - how do you handle the weekends? Do you have a system that works and creates the balance we all crave? Or have you come to dislike the weekends as well?


4 comments :

Maxine D said...

Guess as we are both planners to one degree or another we did not have the stress of differing expectations. If anything, I tried to have the weekends free of 'housework type' jobs other than washing and meals.
Love and blessings
M

Ange - Tall, Short and Tiny said...

I'm the wrong person to ask about weekends right now...hubby plays cricket from 12-6pm (sometimes later) every Saturday, which means we have limited time for family time/me time too. Sigh. Surely it will get easier though?! X

Amy said...

Weekends, what are weekends!? We're students so we don't really have 'weekends' as such...I think this is the first year in the past 4 that we've not had someone working on the weekend. We've been trying Family Day Saturday this year, but as Boyo sleeps late after working till 1am, half the day is gone so it usually ends up just being an hour or two doing something nice together. We go to church on Sunday and often do housework Sunday afternoon. I think when you have little kids you have to get pretty creative about 'me time' - I know I do a lot more work in the evenings and watch less tv than I used to. I'm grateful we get some time together though, as not everyone does. I hope you find something that mostly works for you!

Pacific Plate Brit said...

Weekends so need to be three days long!!