The Unrealness Of Our Reality...
I am on a roll, now that the words have started - they are spilling out all over the place!
It has been the oddest four to five weeks ever - it feels like we are living in a third dimension, another world!
We have come 'home', for me quite literally, as we're still currently living with my parents! So, I don't feel like I have moved per say... a BIG move like this takes time to settle, yet it feels like we have been here forever.
Driving around streets we are familiar with, and catching up with friends we have stayed in touch with over the years; just adds a touch of surrealness (is that actually a word) to this!
I don't feel either here or there - I am not missing Auckland at all (other than our church *sob*), but I don't feel connected or rooted here either; with no home of our own, nor a job and stability, it feels like we are on a LONG vacation.
A long challenging vacation, that is taking it's toll on everyone.
Lets be honest - living in someone else's home is not ideal, for us or them. We will be forever grateful to Mum and Dad for their hospitality, but it is time to find a home of our own. So the frustration at how long this process is taking is doing my head in; there is still no word from either of the agencies, and no contact made with the Referees we have supplied (except maybe our previous landlord, I have not asked him if he has heard from anyone yet). I want to be in our own place by Christmas... I NEED a home to call my own; I want our own space and the chance to start putting our own routines in place, our own roots down, and living our own life again.
My brother and his wife never had this problem, they were picked up and taken through six houses after just a phone call; no paperwork required until they were prepared to sign up for a house.
The difference is work v benefit...
I understand (I don't agree with it, don't get me wrong), but oh how I hate that we have been tarred with that brush. Maybe, this will come back to 'haunt' me in the future - a reminder to show compassion, and be a little less judgemental when we meet others in the same situation. Everyone has a story, a reason they need help - sometimes we need to show a little more respect, and take a little more time to 'hear' their story, rather than jumping to conclusions.
But this being said - I don't want to live 'this' life any more, I want a home and a job; stability and routine, a budget and a knowing! Having us both home all the time is not a 'normal' reality for most families, and it's not something the kids were used to either - they are lapping it up, and loving aspects of it; but the longer it goes on for, the harder it will be to adjust.
If you are praying people, please pray for a job and a place to call our own by Christmas (oh - and grace, patience, compassion etc etc etc).