To Find A Silver Lining

Wednesday 25th August 2010 8:45pm I should be cleaning the house, or at least packing ready for our weekend away - first long trip for Button! But I haven't posted for a little while, and I don't know when I'll next get time too... so thought I'd pop in here while it is quiet on the home front; bubs has taken a while to settle tonight, so it's later than normal when I finally got the chance to sit down. Since my last post I have had a bundle of support - thanks SO much to the ladies who have written to me in response, and those who have rung, and those who have visited... it feels like a weight has been lifted! It's like I have now got permission to feel like this, it's not me 'going mad' and it won 't be forever - it's just a glitch, and I can now start to put strategies and things into place to help me through. I think I had got myself to the point of believing that there was something inherently wrong with me, and I am just not cut out t

Thursday 20th August 2010                                                            7am Well - we're going on an 'adventure' today, me and Button! You see I have never taken her out on my own yet (how sad is that when she is almost 16 weeks old already)... I have taken her out, but always with Mr. C or Mum; or someone else in the car. And today we are heading over to my sister-in-laws for the entire day (a good 25-30 minute car ride away), so my landlord can do some work around our house - I am excited about the work, but VERY VERY nervous! While I have driven with her before, there has always been someone else in the backseat with her; probably left-over from the days when she screamed blue murder every time we put her in the car - she HATED her capsule! However, since we have put the big carseat in, she has relaxed and seemingly enjoyed the car... so far! And to top it off - I have never taken her out this long before in her life either, we'll be leaving after her

Tuesday 17th August 2010 Well - spring is here; can you tell by the weather! It is wet, wild and windy - but not cold at least! I know spring officially starts in September, but someone forgot to tell my daffodils, or the lambs who were born a few weeks ago up the driveway... I LOVE spring, it is my favourite of all seasons. It reminds me of new life and fresh starts, it reminds me that winter never lasts forever - even if it is a winter in our lives, rather than in season; 'This too shall pass'! Here are a few pictures of my daffodils taken on a lovely day for your viewing pleasure (some of these I took, some Mum took when she was up):                            Then here is a picture taken of them the other day - after a day of wind and rain: And now here they are today - after a number of days of wind and rain: So sad, but such is spring; and such is life... don't we all feel like these daffodils once in a while?!? One day we're bright and feeling on a high,

I forget to mention last night that there are also some sheep and lambs down the drive, as well as chickens! There are rabbits and hares coming out our ears, and we once saw a couple of parrots! Definitely diverse wildlife, something for everyone... Elizabeth

Friday 13th August 2010 In case you're wondering - the reason I always start with the date is because here in New Zealand the time difference is quite substantial to what the blog shows... learnt to do this when I was using xanga, far less confusing for me (even if it confuses everyone else *grin*)! I just thought I'd introduce you to the other part of our family - I mentioned in the introduction that we have a cat called Pixel...  well here she is: Yesterday after I had put Button down for her first sleep I discovered the cat outside her bedroom door waiting for me... this normally means 'trouble', and yesterday was no exception! She raced me down the stairs, trying to trip me up (I swear), she then chased me in and out of the house as I collected the firewood for the day! This is from a cat who is generally very gentle and quiet; but every now and then she turns into this 'Crazy Cat' and you get this blur of black and white zipping in and out of every cor

Friday 13th August 2010 I am sitting here struggling with the 'Expectations Versus Reality' issue... my Mother-in-Law mentioned it yesterday to me when she rang; as she said - "No one can tell you what to really expect with a newborn as they are all individuals and different! But until you've gone through it, you really don't know what you're facing." She is so right - I really went in with my eyes shut, I thought I would be fairly okay with my experience and training - how arrogant is that! I knew enough to know it isn't the same as Childcare, as you can't hand them to someone else when you're having a hard time, or pass them over at 5pm and go home - I was a little more realistic than that! Conversations with Mummy However I was expecting the nights to be much harder, and the days MUCH easier... I have to admit to assuming that ALL newborns slept during the day, and 'just knew how to do this'. I had no idea that we had to teach th

Thursday 12 August 2010 I LOVE LISTS... I admit it, I'm a bit of a control freak; not totally - but enough of one that I like to be organised and sorted, on time and know where I stand (or what comes next)! I suspect that is why I have struggled so much with Button; she has her own mind and doesn't appreciate being organised and sorted out thank you very much! I know I need to lighten up a bit... BUT, how does one get anything done without lists! Here's my 'To-Do' list for today (more things have been added since this photo was taken): Seriously - Mr. C jokes with me that I probably have a list somewhere with all my lists listed, so I know what is on them all and where to find them... I don't, just in case you're wondering! But I start my day off with a list; it keeps me focused and on track - it makes sure I do everything I set myself to do, if I don't half the stuff will be forgotten - partly because my brain is like mush at the moment, and partly

Wednesday 11th August 2010 Ah the guilt of being a parent - and boy, does it hit hard! This was one thing I wasn't expecting to feel to quite this extent, and she is only three months old! Currently she is asleep - but I can still hear her sobbing in her sleep; not good on a Mother's heart, especially when you know you're to blame! I can only pray she wakes up smiling, having forgotten (or at least forgiven) the past... She didn't once - I remember the first time I did 'Controlled Crying' to get her to start sleeping (mind you that was only last week *grin*, it feels like much longer though); and after the first attempt she just glared at me, never once giving me a smile during her wake-up time; although she was quite capable of it as she gave her Grandma a smile - talk about kill your own Mum slowly! Little Rascal!!!! I think I cried more than she did last week when we started this, praise God for Mums! My Mum (Button's Grandma) came up for a fortnight

10th August 2010   I am going to have to remember with this new blog, right from the start, what my priorities are... I have a habit of becoming totally absorbed into something new; to the point everything else is pushed aside for a time, but then 'getting over it' very fast! So I have decided I need to limit myself, and how much time I spend writing up blogs to begin with; and how much time I spend scrolling through it and exploring 'Blogspot'. My previous blog was with xanga, and it has quite a different look and feel about it...  SO - my priorities have to be my family first and my home second, THEN (and only then) can I start to look further abroad, and explore some of my own interests and time-wasters! Us on our wedding day 25 September 2004 This time I also want to join some blog-rings, blogs authored by people who enjoy the same things I do; not sure who or what I will be looking for, but I figure that this is something I can get involved in, even with a y

Good evening, I have made the plunge and decided to start another blog... my last one submerged into the murky depths with lack of use and lack of interest; hopefully this one will stand the ravages of time better! My sister-in-law has inspired me, she can make anything sound interesting; not sure I'll be up to competing, but I thought I might try this avenue of expressing myself again. Just so you know - I am Elizabeth, not a 'Lizzy', and  am a stay-at-home Mum with a beautiful 3 month old daughter (Button). My husband (Mr. C) is a Computer Programmer and works full time... we have a cute little cat called Pixel (although she is not so little anymore), and are blessed to be living in a gorgeous 3 bedroom house on 5 acres of land (admittedly we are still renting - but dreaming of owning something like this one day). We share this luxury with two other couples as well; they live in the main house, while we live in what is referred to as 'The West Wing'; completely