In response to my previous post...

Wednesday 25th August 2010
8:45pm

I should be cleaning the house, or at least packing ready for our weekend away - first long trip for Button! But I haven't posted for a little while, and I don't know when I'll next get time too... so thought I'd pop in here while it is quiet on the home front; bubs has taken a while to settle tonight, so it's later than normal when I finally got the chance to sit down.

Since my last post I have had a bundle of support - thanks SO much to the ladies who have written to me in response, and those who have rung, and those who have visited... it feels like a weight has been lifted! It's like I have now got permission to feel like this, it's not me 'going mad' and it won 't be forever - it's just a glitch, and I can now start to put strategies and things into place to help me through. I think I had got myself to the point of believing that there was something inherently wrong with me, and I am just not cut out to be a Mum. Mr. C has been amazing - after that Thursday he was so worried, that he rang Kristin (Homegroup leader) and asked her to let the other ladies know so that I had regular visitors and support, and he also rang his sister and asked her to pop out and visit me the next day - he didn't want me left alone. Since then we have sat down and discussed some positive strategies that I can start to slowly build into my days, in order to help me cope better.

We bought a new stroller on the weekend, as our other one was second-hand and heavy - it had a mind of its own and I couldn't trust it to go where I was heading ;-)! This one is light-weight, it goes where it is pushed and it is made for walking - I LOVE it; we also bought a Toddler Seat for it at time of purchase, forward thinking (and cost-saving)! The photos of it aren't very good - it's a black stroller and the silver is reflective... I'll try to take better ones (with Button actually in it *grin*) during the day next time!



Mr. C has also fixed the X-Trainer, so on the days I can't get out for a walk - I can do a bit of exercise while Button is asleep. I am now starting to slowly re-introduce some green vegetables to my diet, and seeing how Button copes with it... one thing at a time (currently working slowly on broccoli). Am in the process of inviting more people over, and going to try and make a substantial effort to get out more also. I struggle to swallow big pills, so multi-vits are out - but have some berocca to up my Vitamin B. Hopefully once all these things are put together, life will seem easier and Button that much sweeter ;-)! She really is a lovely baby - but this Mummy has found it hard to see that most days, which is sad and I don't want to be like this.

And if all of these together don't seem to make a significant difference - I promise I'll go to the Doctor and get some professional help... I am not anti-drugs, but I'd just rather try dealing with it my way first. However, I want to enjoy my baby, I don't want to look back on her baby-hood and shudder - or spend the rest of my life feeling guilty because I thought she was hard work, when it wasn't her - it was me.

Thankfully for me, I have a hubby who adores her, would spend all day / everyday with her if he could, and whatever I am currently lacking in - he more than makes up for in her life.



Anyway - I need to go, and at least start my list of things I need to do tomorrow, and what we need to pack and take! Can't survive without my lists!

Elizabeth


Comments

MaxineD said…
Great talking to you this morning - and good to see you have plans and strategies in place.
Blessings
M
Aynsley said…
Have a great weekend and enjoy meeting your cutie nephew!
Amy said…
Hey, we ended up with a different stroller too - the pram having a decided mind of its own. ;op It was great for sleeping Munchkin in the lounge when he was little, etc but now we have a new one getting out and about is so much less stressful for me (Boyo didn't really mind the other one, but the new one actually goes OVER kerbs rather than around them!)! Glad to hear that you have some good ideas in place. It is really hard to be positive when faced with a crying baby, especially if you're not feeling great to start with, so you are doing really well, believe me! Lydia knows that you love her...don't forget that. xoxo
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