We're Going on a ... MOZZIE Hunt!
Tuesday 8th February 2011
Ah yes, the joys of summer... mozzies. Ah yes, the joys of living (kinda) out in the country... more mozzies.
Oh mosquito's how I HATE thee. Yep - hate... there aren't many things I would use such a strong word for; fear maybe, but not hate! However I fear that mozzies bring the worst out in me, especially in the early hours of the morning.
Can anyone tell me why God created the mosquito? I have never been able to work that one out!
I can feel you shuddering as much as I do...!
Anyway - onto the story, no point lamenting all evening ;-)!
The past 2-3 nights we have been woken up by the dreaded mosquito drone - it is one of those noises you just wake up to, no point denying it or pretending it isn't there; it's loud and it's persistent and then it bites! Mr. C is a mozzie-hater also; so he always gets up, turns the light on and goes hunting - neither of us would get much sleep the rest of the night if he didn't do this!
So there he is at 2am or 3am or 4am - whatever the time happens to be that particular night, in his undies with the light on and staring intently at the ceiling, but wait - there's more, there is also a ritual (not always in the exact same sequence, but always followed closely). He starts off wondering around the edges of the room staring at the ceiling for the dratted bug, he then gets up on the bed itself and works his way around that still staring intently at the ceiling... following this IF he hasn't yet had success - he then shakes the curtains slightly, looks behind the door (wardrobe and main door), shakes the sheets on the bed and FINALLY, if this has all failed to extract the insect, he then turns the hall light on and checks the ceiling out there.
The first few times he did this utterly dismayed me - I was TRYING to sleep, so why go to all this fuss over a mosquito? Just do what I do, and tuck the sheet in and over you; so nothing is exposed to be bitten! However, I have discovered how ineffective my way is; because you can still HEAR that drone, and sleep is still quite elusive! Much to my surprise - hardly any little critters escape my hubby's beady eye, so I am slowly starting to relax and appreciate that there are nights when I am going to be rudely woken up either by a mozzie or by my husband attempting to kill a mozzie. I generally just lie there and feign intense concentration on the ceiling, but underneath the open eyelids I am asleep again... however, I have managed to point out the odd one often enough in these sessions that he no longer bothers me to get up and 'help him'!
We have had a rather bothersome mosquito that has totally eluded us these past two nights - I am assuming it is the same one, as we have never managed to find it. The first night Mr. C woke to it first, and did the 'Mosquito Hunt Dance' but after 15-20 minutes of no luck I convinced him to come back to bed and sleep... Half an hour later it was me turning the light on and asking him to look again. Still no luck, and little sleep the rest of the night as by then it was 4am, so I got up and crept in to cover Button with a blanket (been to hot to cover her up even when we go to bed). BUT - no more noise after the second hunt... whew! Maybe we got it after all, just hadn't been aware of it we think to ourselves?
Or that's what we thought...
Night Two - last night.
We had a guest staying last night - two bedrooms and a bathroom are upstairs (these two bedrooms belong to us and Button), we have the main bathroom and a guest bedroom downstairs as well as the main living space. The guest room lies directly under our bathroom, just across from our bedroom - I have never asked anyone how much they can hear, I figure a reasonable amount though as the guest room is right at the bottom of the stairs, and we're right at the top of the stairs ;-)! Also, you need to take into account that every spare inch of floor space upstairs squeaks & creaks - I have no idea why, but our bedroom floor squeaks, Button's bedroom floor squeaks and the stairs creak as well. I have worked out the best routes for the least noise, but Mr. C refuses to learn - he just figures 'tough' and makes whatever noise is necessary... you can imagine what it must sound like at 3am when he is doing the 'Mosquito Hunt Dance'! Button manages to sleep through it - but I doubt anyone else can.
So at 3am the first of the mosquito dances start, Mr. C is convinced it was dive-bombing him - I never heard it this time, I was woken with him jumping out of bed! I figure he is over-reacting and do my 'sleep stare' at the ceiling in support... when the same thing happens and he can't find the mozzie again, he stumbles back to bed rather disheartened. Ten minutes later it starts dive-bombing me, and I swear it was - no exaggeration, and I realise that Mr. C probably wasn't lying - it really was dive-bombing! So once more we start the 'Mosquito Hunt Dance', this time I am much more awake and much more interested in the outcome... we tried every trick we'd ever learnt over the years, but to no avail - this one is tricky and we cannot find it anywhere (not even in the hallway).
So Mr. C decides to get tricky back, and he shuts our bedroom door - assuming he is now shutting the mosquito out (I swear your brain doesn't turn on BEFORE 6am, and I even query that sometimes)... I am a little worried we won't hear Button if she wakes up; but am assured that she will be fine. By 4am I am still awake and getting chilly - so now it's my turn to get up, and head into Button's room again to check on her and pull her blanket up... when I get back in and hop into bed I am told very abruptly to 'Shut the bedroom door for goodness sake, or you'll let the mozzie back in'! So I duly hop back out of bed, rolling my eyes, and shut the door! Mr. C sleeps the rest of the night with a slight smile on his face, thinking he has out-witted the mosquito finally... I sleep restlessly, aware of a slight droning noise I can hear above me and slightly to my left ;-)! I haven't told Mr. C that - no point spoiling it for him!
I never had the balls to ask our guest how he slept, as I didn't want any awkward questions about our middle of the night antics.. maybe it would have been safer to explain them though, then let his imagination run wild?!?