Hmmm - this is a post I have been contemplating for a while now. It hadn't been written before now, partly due to tiredness and lack of time and partly because I needed to make peace with it myself.
I noticed when I changed blogs and started over at my 'new' blog (this one), a lot of 'my followers' chose not to follow me over. This was despite the repeated reminders and regular mentions of it leading up to the change-over, and following it for a few months. There were links, and there were posts - well; basically I made it EASY-PEASY to know all about it, and what to do about it (hey, I figured if you knew enough to 'follow' me the first time, I wouldn't need to spoon-feed to that extent the second time)!
But despite all the plea's and desperate reminders - I remained relatively follower-free for a long while (other than family and friends - thanks guys). Slowly others have since joined me though, new folks - people whose blogs I admire, it is always a thrill to see I have a new follower; probably more thrilling to me than it should be, truth be known.
I have 'discovered' newer bloggers than me up at the 60-70 follower mark, and yet I have done everything by the book - I have spent hours reading other peoples blogs and commenting, hours writing up posts about 'interesting' stuff, joined linky's and wrote regularly, became a member of 'KMB' - blah, blah, blah. This bugged me
a lot, and I started to question everything... and it has taken a long time to really decide whether or not to continue with blogging, change my style, change what I blog about - whether or not I was even interested in carrying on. It really did hit me harder than I had anticipated (hhhhm, insecurity issues here to deal with - nah)!!!!!!!
However, I realised the other day that I'm okay with it now... this is MY blog, and I am going to write whatever I want to write. I know I wrote 'like' this in my intro - but that was before I even knew there were other NZ Bloggers, before I understood what 'followers' were, before I even knew how to leave comments for other people - let alone began expecting to get them back. It has been hard to go back to that naive time in my life where I wrote for the love of it; I wrote to communicate; to share our little family with extended family and friends... where it didn't matter who read it or if they left messages or not (haha - I make it sound like I am SO old and experienced now; 'naive time if my life...' *grin*)
I have discovered that people are just the same in 'blogland' as they are in real life... there are cliques; popular crowds, leaders who make the decisions, people who follow those leaders, and of course the little 'wanna-be's' like me! But that's okay - I have decided I don't want to be a 'wanna-be' anymore... I want to be ME!
So folks - I won't be joining in linky's on a regular basis anymore, I might do posts along a similiar line; but I'll write it up when I have time, and not wait to link it in appropriately. I am going to seriously thin my reading list. I have already stopped commenting on most blogs as I just don't have the time, energy or patience to be bothered anymore. I am going to write about whatever I want to; and if this means MORE posts about Button (making me a one-dimensional person); then so-be-it! I am going write up a list of idea's for posts in the future (I have so run out of inspiration lately), and I am going to try and be more 'real' and forget about 'blog-etiquette'.
I am not a follower, I never have been and am not sure why I started becoming one recently... I am ME, and I think it's time the real me surfaced again.