I Wanna Be...
Just like HER!
You know, the friend who seems to have it altogether:
The one who always seems to be in-control, even when their kids aren't!
The one who ALWAYS looks hot, could even pull off just wearing a plastic bag if necessary (seriously, I know a couple of ladies like this *sigh*, I'm a trackies girl... can't do sexy in trackpants)!
The one whose children are lovely - inside and outside! Little cuties who are also well behaved... yep, I think there are people who have kids like this!
The one whose house is always clean and tidy - mine isn't, doesn't matter how hard I try... it just isn't! So please don't come visiting today especially - sick kids for ten days means that there has been NOTHING done. Seriously; a hurricane has hit us and stayed!
The one who always has fresh baking in the cupboards, and healthy meals cooking away on the stove... yep, not in my house!
The one who is always first to visit a sick family, or the family with the new baby - and brings baking / meals / gifts! My family doesn't even get baking...
The one who laughs and has FUN with her children - doesn't wish them grown up, doesn't dream of a break, doesn't scream and yell when they don't sleep. She actually wants to be with them ALL.THE.TIME.
The one who always has time for her kids, husband AND friends! Yet - she manages to pursue her own interests as well... seriously, that sounds like it requires a 36 hour day plus a 10 day week to me; but again, I know a couple of ladies who make this look EASY! It's NOT easy though; at least not for me! I feel like I am always being pulled in a thousand different directions, and still don't meet all expectations.
Can someone please tell me what the secret is?
I remember watching a friend once, it was a while ago now, and she is a friend I respect significantly for the way she is bringing up her kids (and all of the above *grin*!); and her little one had been asleep in her arms. I had popped into the room to feed my little one and had stayed reasonably quiet... however, it wasn't long before her child woke up anyway, she tried resettling him but it just wasn't going to happen. What has stayed with me, and what I loved was the look that passed between them as the baby woke up. He looked up at his Mum in complete adoration, and she smiled when she looked down at him, and seemed so genuinely thrilled he was awake so she could spend more time with him. Me - I would have been huffing and puffing that he had woken so early, I would have tried not to make eye-contact in the hope he'd have gone back to sleep and in the process been muttering to myself about how my day would be ruined now, as his routine was shot!
I remember sitting there watching this private exchange and wishing I could be more like that - wanting to be that kind of Mum! She made me believe (and I assume it is true) that she likes her children, likes being with them... not just because she is their Mum, but because she likes the little people they actually are. Does this make sense?
While I want to be 'that woman' described above; more importantly I want to be 'that Mum' to my kids! I want my children to grow up knowing, that deep down knowing, that we don't just love them because they are our kids and we 'have too'; but because we want to. I want them to know that we love them for the little people (and later on - big people) that they are. We actually enjoy their company, their sense of humour, their companionship... we WANT to spend time with them (I don't mean every minute of every day; but generally speaking we want to be with them).
I want them to look back on their childhood never having had a single doubt about how much they are loved... They may laugh (or cringe) at my cooking, my apparent lack of cleaning skills, and my lack of interest in fashion; but I pray that they also recall many hours of fun times as a family; of hours spent talking and laughing and reading and playing together.
We want our kids to be given every opportunity possible whether it be on the playing field, in the classroom, or within the art/craft/music arena. We want them to push and extend themselves in the field that they are passionate about, in whatever skills they excel in - but we also want them to try other things, to be open to new experiences, to attempt things and not be scared of failure.
I know this is what every parent wants for their child(ren)... but I think the more important value I want them growing up knowing, is their own worth. I want them to grow up loving and accepting themselves for who they are - not who we want them to be, not who they think they should be; but for the person God created them to be.
It's late and I am over-thinking this as I am prone to do... and if I keep going down this track, it will stop making sense and start getting boring.
So I'll leave you with this:
Something I need to take on board myself!