5@5 = marriage
1) Some folks say that within the marriage both parties have to give 50% each, in order to make it work... I have heard that it takes 100% from both sides to keep it a happy, healthy marriage. I would tend to agree with that - but sometimes it feels like one side (talking from my view point here) is giving 200%, while the other side is giving very little. However, looking back over the years - I can now honestly say that whenever I have been feeling like this I have been taking hubby for granted; and thus not noticing anything / everything he is doing. So when I start having grumpy days / weeks (as apposed to the odd grumpy day / few hours), I am learning to stop and look at the reality of the situation, and sort out within me why I am grumpy - rather than take it all out on him (but don't worry, he still bares the brunt of it all at times)!
2) I am hoping that these years where the kiddilicks are small, really ARE the hardest years... there have been so many opposing views and comments made - but I am trusting that things WILL get easier! Not that we're in a hard place as such, it's just hard; FULL STOP. When you have demands on you left, right and centre for 24/7, someone/thing has to take the fall; generally its him! This is why the regulated evenings - at least this way I know he will be getting one evening of attention each week, and so will I ('cause sometimes I need it also)!
3) I am hoping our marriage will be better, and stronger and more than the previous generation. Not that Mum and Dad have a bad marriage, far from it - but they still made mistakes, and hopefully I/we have learnt from them. Just like I hope our kids will marry someone who is prepared to work with them on their marriage, and through this they will do better than us. It's a cycle - the good and the bad, people often talk about the negative traits in the family are a cycle and get handed down from one generation to the next; but what about the positive? I want to make sure our marriage works well, to give our kids the best possible chance for their future... not just growing up, but within their own marriages.
4) Our wedding was far from perfect, and of course our marriage isn't either... but I'd like to think we have improved on it! If we could do our wedding day over, there would be a lot of things I'd like done differently. And, while there have been hard times in our marriage also, to be honest - most of them have been the making of us, so I am not sure if I would do things too much differently from the past 8 years or so. I have learnt so much about myself, and have grown so much as a person; I prefer who I am now, than who I was back then. Still got a long way to go, but who hasn't!?! Hubby says he wouldn't swap me for a 'younger model' either, as I know him just too well these days... would take far to long to train someone else up apparently ;-)!
5) Marriage is about sharing; the bringing together of two people and two lives... I don't know about you, but we're still very aware of who brought what into the marriage / home! I still get told to 'get out of MY bed' on occasions (only ever in jest I must quickly and emphatically add here), and it has become a bit of a standing joke at times regarding some of the 'stuff' we have collected (or I/he has collected) over time! I think if this is still ongoing after 8 years, it'll probably be something we will always joke about, and remember! But I have to confess to looking forward to the day when we can update our bedroom suite, and he can no longer use that one against me ;-)!