I Have Been Challenged...

One of my favourite bloggers, Sammy over at Cherished, just got some devastating news... I shed a tear, responded with a comment and promised to 'pray for her and her family'; as you do, you know. I am genuine, I really mean these things, and generally I will whisper a little prayer as I respond - so I don't feel guilty should I never manage to remember again (until the next post)! I learnt that 'trick' (no - it's not actually a trick; but for me it is an 'easy way out' should someone ask me specifically to pray; as then I can genuinely say I have, even if that was the only time I remembered) from some friend many years ago!

I then proceeded to look at some of her 'Link Within' posts, as a couple had caught my eye (see - it works, even on us bloggers *grin*)! And I have come away challenged, in awe of her faith and holding even greater respect for her. 

Sammy is a Christian, I have met her (albeit briefly) in real life - she attends the same church as my two sister-in-laws; that is actually what grabbed my attention when I came across her blog, a tenuous but 'real' connection there! I follow a couple of others who run in the same circle as well - it's fun knowing I could bump into them when we visit that church, wondering if I'd recognise them 'in real life', and they me!

But what has kept me following Sammy is her realness, her rawness, her honesty... not every post, but enough for me to know that 'she gets it', she gets life! But also; her faith is real, it shines through even in those dark posts - like her most current one; and that is where I am challenged.

I am wondering how many of you, who actually follow me, who read my posts regularly (and aren't related to me, or know me IRL *grin*), actually know that I too am a Christian? You may have picked up that we attend church, sometimes... you may have picked up that I have a belief somewhere along the line... but you may not know what that belief is, or what church I attend (let alone how (ir)regularly we attend)

I got to thinking about this... I got to wondering why this is. And the reality is, my faith stinks at the moment. I have not had the time to analyse why, think about when this started or to wonder what happened - but that is the truth, it stinks. We don't attend church often, I don't read my bible or pray regularly, I don't share my faith on here (or anywhere truth be known); and it is starting to show.

My childhood friends would be in shock - I was the kid in school who stood up for what I believed in come-what-may... I invited people to church and youthgroup constantly (some came, some didn't) and I didn't shy away from discussions (or judgements *cringe*), and I certainly didn't hide who I was or what I believed in. I still had enough friends, some attended church and some didn't - I am still in touch with many of them, some just through facebook, some far more regularly and in much more depth. What you saw, was what you got with me back then - some respected this, some refused! Didn't bother me then... but I was the kid who did things different, and that was ok.

I am left wondering what happened to this kid; sure, life has given me a few hard knocks - but to be honest, we all have a story to tell! Something I have learnt over the years is that everyone has a story, something that has changed their lives forever, and molded them into who they are now... so this is no surprise. I am probably a bit jaded from these, but I wouldn't call myself angry. However, I have just been reminded of a song sung by one of my favourite bands 'Casting Crowns':

Slow Fade

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray 
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray 
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

This is me right now.

Here is the link for the song on Youtube:

It's well worth watching, even if you don't believe the same thing as I do... the lyrics are written about marriage and the music video follows this theme.

It also leaves me thinking about our children - we want them brought up with a Christian heritage, but for this to happen; I need to start getting serious about my faith. They need to see it in action, need to know it is real, and feel the peace within us as we live life day by day trusting God.

Yep - I think that is enough for tonight; enough for me to be thinking about, pondering over and generally trying to reach for.


Miriam said…
great post. I hope you find a way back into the Presence that whets your appetite and makes you hungry again. It's the hunger that makes it real not the actions that come from effort and obligation - that's my perspective anyway. You tube worship music is always good for me.
Will continue to pray.
Blessings and love
Sammy said…
Darling girl, thank you for your kind words. Thank you so much.
But to encourage you, I think MY faith stinks right now. I feel ill equipped and challenged. I don't feel I have what I need for this fight right now. BUT. I know my God. I know that He has enough for us, and when we don't have enough He does. So I am resting in that knowledge. That he has enough. And if he has enough for me then He has enough for you. To meet you where you are right now, like He's meeting me.
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