The Happs... in my house; PART TWO!

So - the next part of these changes I have been talking about...

Sunday Snippets Linky:
I have just e-mailed the lovely ladies who run Kiwi Bloggers and have let them know that I will no longer be hosting 'Sunday Snippets'. I had planned on completing the year out, but not a single person links up appropriately, and my most regular 'linker' was my lovely sister-in-law, you're a treasure Amy, thank you... In the end, I decided the effort that goes into one of these posts (photo collages don't happen in 5 minutes), and the lack of interest shown does not even out - so something had to give. This doesn't mean I won't be posting a 'Weekly Round-Up' or something similar once in a while for myself, but it won't be weekly and it won't be an obligation, and it won't be a linky... it'll happen when it happens, and because I want it to!

I mentioned last time that now I have cleared out of Facebook (well, as of this weekend); I was on a mission... so now I will be cleaning out my blog-list also! Most of my evenings have been spent scrolling through Facebook and reading about other people's lives... I had a big clean-out a while ago, but slowly new ones have been added, and it feels like I am back to where I was - and instead of living or writing about my own life, I am living vicariously through other people each day, it's not a good thing! There will be a few I will keep out of loyalty (don't read obligation, loyalty is totally different), as I feel a connection with them in some way or another; but these are few. I will then hunt down a few more (handful - maybe 5 or 6), that encourage, inspire, or challenge me... one's I can relate to, and want to read! One I have found recently is Hands Free Mama, she talks about being focused on your children - without the essential phone, computer, tablet, whatever your obsession is; in your hand or on your ear. It confirmed to me that I am going in the right direction, and the changes we are making WILL make a difference in our kids lives. It also made me realise this is a epidemic, it is not 'just me' and it needs to stop... this generation is going to suffer in ways we can only ever imagine, if we keep going down the track we are. 

All this is in aid of finding 'my voice' again... I am cutting back and pulling out of things, as I need to 'find me' amidst the chaos! I started this blog with a vision, a passion - but I have lost my way. And unfortunately it never really began either, as I started it in the middle of struggling through PND... so this place has always had a bit of a sad/negative vein running through it. I don't like that, and I don't want that - I want to inspire, challenge and encourage people; YOU! I will still be 'real and honest', I won't lose that - but I want to also share the other side of the story! I want to share with you the frustrations of parenting and marriage, but then I want to be able to tell you what I have done to climb out of those holes, how we have changed the atmosphere in our home, how I changed my mindset and started to view things differently as well!

Intentional Parenting:
I don't know what Hubby would call it - but I have chosen to call this section 'Intentional Parenting'; he'd probably roll his eyes, but anyway...

We have been making some more purposeful decisions regarding our family lately... Button is at the age where she is taking everything in, and of course - starting to process it, in her own unique three-year-old way, and with very limited understanding. With my ECCE background (and a little common sense), I was aware that some of our choices have not been made with their best interests at heart! Don't get me wrong - we're not bad parents, but we have been going along day by day, and some days 'just making it through' and not necessarily thinking ahead. I know there have been times when I have done something, and later thinking about it - realised that I've probably set up a bad precedence. 

So, some of the choices we have been making lately:
# TV off when we're having dinner. Button is addicted to TV (*cringe*). When I say TV - she doesn't watch a lot of actual TV; but she watches a lot of DVD's, and it's all one and the same to her currently.
# We have started saying 'Grace' before meals, and we're using the same basic one that gets sung at her Preschool, so she can join in with us.
# We have started asking intentional questions at dinner time, about our day (best part and worst part), and making sure everyone gets a chance to 'discuss' this. We want to start opening the door of communication with the kids (never too young according to my Mum), we want them to know that they can talk to us about 'their stuff', no matter how big or small.
# Sundays, from next weekend onwards, will be known as 'No Technology Sundays' (or Family Day, or something else really naff like that). Basically, our phones / computers / TV are all going to be turned off, and we're going to focus on the kids - until they're in bed anyway! This doesn't mean we'll never watch anything on TV, it just means no 'electronic babysitting'; we are open to family movie afternoons in winter as much as we are open to picnics and walks in the summer months, and having friends over for the afternoon any time. There are no boundaries around this - except the lack of technology for hubby and I.

I am really excited about these changes, and really proud of us for making these decisions together... it would have been so easy to continue settling for the status quo, and watch the kids grow up right before our eyes, yet barely know them. I am a stay-at-home Mum to a three year old and a one year old; at this stage in their lives - I should be the one who knows them best, and yet to my horror, it seems that hubby actually has a handle on what makes them tick better than I do. Mainly because he practises the above more than me - he puts his phone and computer down when they are up, and spends time with them; I mix it up a little, a bit of them and a bit of something else.

As mentioned earlier, this blog has had a rather sad/negative vein running through it... this really has paralleled my life, naturally - because as you think, so you write! I have always been a glass-half-empty kind of person (hubby is the opposite, thank goodness); but am sick of always assuming the worst, believing the worst and generally thinking negative. So I am getting some help. Things kinda came to a head after this post, and I knew that I knew that I knew I couldn't carry on like this... I am not there yet, but I'm working on it. I saw that  article on 'Stuff' called 'When Your Mother Thinks She's Fat'; and knew that this is me... this is what I am doing to my little girl, and I don't want that. So I am getting help, and making a stand - I am never going to be perfect, I will make mistakes and hurt my kids, and I will scar them for life at times... but I'll be damned if my kids are going to grow up with the self-confidence issues I have, even if that means I am going to have to 'fake till I make it' in front of them for a few years.

Anyway - I hit publish partway through this post by accident (my mouse is broken, so using the finger thing instead - and hit post instead of save, arghhhh), so I guess I should actually finish this off tonight and post it again, so you all get the full story... not a half-completed one!

In essence, expect changes 'cause they're a-coming!

PS - If you got right through this, well done... it's a LONG post with no pictures to break it up!


Well done me - I made it through!! ;-). Well done on the intentional parenting and hang in there when it gets tough - changing habits is tough, but you will be so pleased with the results.
Love and blessings
Anonymous said…
I love your post. I have just done the same thing a few weeks back. With Facebook I deleted people and pages as I spent all day just trying to keep up with them all, so I now have people and pages that are important to me.
Whats even funny I think some people don't even realize I've culd them.

Don't be so hard on your self look back and see that you have come sooo far the future will be a beautiful place for both yourselves and you your lovely family.

Love Sam C
Amy said…
Really enjoyed reading Hands Free Mamma - thanks for sharing it!
Your Family Sundays sound like a great idea. Parenting is hard work, and doing it intentionally with aims in mind is even harder still! You are inspiring!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

My Top Posts

VERY Belated Ninja-Bake Post...


Burnt Potatoes and other things that make me GRUMPY!!!!!